Rude Things People Say When You’re Pregnant

There’s just something about a baby bump that causes people to lose their filter. They blurt out the first thing that comes to mind – and chances are it’s seriously offensive.Here’s a collection of some of  my favorite and in case you were wondering, this would be a list of what NOT to say to a pregnant woman.  Ever.  Particularly if you value your life.

1. Did you get pregnant intentionally?-  Seriously?  You are actually asking that question?  Hello!!can someone give me a break?
2. Oh you plan to breastfeed? It will completely drain you so be sure to get some formula and bottles – It’s a miracle anybody survived before there was formula.  Formula can be a helpful option for feeding a baby when needed but I’m not going into this assuming something is wrong.
3. How much weight have you gained?– WHAT?! Are you kidding me? Why in the world would you ask a woman that? Usually these questions are from people with a sizable paunch, too!
4. You’re pregnant? I just thought you were eating too much! –It’s a little weird that you were keeping tabs on my diet.
5. Were you trying? How often did you try? – Why would I tell this to anyone? It’s crazy even talking about it.
6. Are you planning on getting an epidural during delivery? – I can’t believe people ask this, but I learned  to either lie or not answer this question.
7. Are you SURE it’s not twins? – This is just a sarcastic way of telling a pregnant lady that she looks large . Even the most clueless people know that everyone has ultrasounds now and twins are never a surprise. I feel like saying, “Yup, I’m sure it’s not twins. But I sure am fat, I get it!”
8. Are you going to find out the sex? – People are so opinionated that we should find out the gender of our baby! Waiting just isn’t for everyone.There are  parents who love the delivery room surprise.
9. Wow, you STILL look pregnant! – Some people really know how to pinch at the right place. Why would one really pass such a comment .
10. You can’t be seven months pregnant , your belly is too small !You’re so tiny, you don’t even look pregnant.  You’re not starving that baby are you?  Beauty isn’t worth it, you want a healthy baby, right? –  Turns out the opposite kind of remark is just as upsetting. Thanks a lot.  The implication that you think I’m starving my child for vanity’s sake is beyond rude.  Whatever. I just tell them happily that my doctor says I am perfectly healthy and so is the baby (even if I really just want to run out screaming and crying my eyes out)
11. You can tell its a girl. Girls steal the mother’s beauty, from the moment they’re conceived! – What?  That’s pretty much the same as walking up to a pregnant woman and telling them they are ugly but it’s ok, their baby girl will be pretty.
12. Still pregnant?  Are you ever going to have that baby? – Nope.  I just haven’t gotten around to giving birth because I’m so lazy.  I plan to cross my legs and keep it in there FOREVER because it is really just so comfortable.
13. Looks like you’re getting close! – Close to what?  Peeing my pants?  Puking on you?  Punching someone?
14. Your butt is getting so big! – Thanks for checking out my bum. I know it’s improving my dance moves like crazy!
15. I hope it comes out normal – Well, no matter what, I’ll be sure to teach him the manners you seem to lack.
16. Wow, check out those stretch marks! -My husband and I think they’re sexy.
17. I could tell it’s a girl/boy because your specific body parts have become bigger – That’s just… strange and creepy.  Please stop looking at me to compare how my body has changed.  And if you do notice something, don’t even think of mentioning it to me.  On what planet is it ok to say something like that?
18. You don’t look pregnant from behind –  Well that’s because my uterus is in the front.
19. Are you allowed to eat that?  You should eat/shouldn’t eat XYZ (whatever it is you’re craving and can keep down) – Sorry, you’re not my health care provider and I’m my own boss.  Do NOT get in the way of a pregnant lady and her food.  It won’t end well for anyone.
20. Hopefully next time you’ll get your boy/girl –  This one is hillarious!Right because the whole reason we would have another child was to get one with a certain set of genitals.
21. Can I touch your belly? – Do you want your hand bitten off? Have you lost your mind? Does the phrase “personal space” have any meaning to you at all? Hell no, you may not rub my belly.
22. You are going for a natural birth, RIGHT? – I don’t remember asking for your opinion, but, okay. I will make every effort to make sure to do what you think was right for you, during my birth.
23. Isn’t it hard working while you’re pregnant? Shouldn’t you be resting? – Yes. It is hard. It kills my back. I feel awful. But not all of us are financially stable enough to afford to take time off work when pregnant. I intend on working until my water breaks (which will probably happen at work).
24. You’re quite hormonal! – Okay, maybe I am just a little crazy/weepy right now, but that doesn’t invalidate my thoughts and feelings, or mean that something isn’t important, just because I seem to be sobbing endlessly over everything.
25. I thought you didn’t want kids! – Thank you ever so kindly for the reminder of my inability to take a pill every day.
26. Ugh, you’re lucky, it was so much worse for me! – Really? Tell me about it! Oh wait, that’s right, I’m the pregnant one, not you.
27. Are those maternity pants? –  Hmm, I don’t know. WHAT DO YOU THINK? I have swollen ankles, constant back pain, and haven’t stopped sweating since I got knocked up – I think I reserve the right to NOT talk about the size of my pants.
28. What’s the rudest thing you heard when you were pregnant? Let’s add it to our list.
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30. http://www.mylittlemuffin.com/rude-things-people-say-when-youre-pregnant/